week 1, May, Brigits Flame, "Good Omens" prompt

[riotheclown]

I strongly identify with Budd in this story.

I think I have incorporated all the three things in it for the "advanced" or whatever it's called. 

Have a happy mothers day all of you who are mothers.

 

Good Omens

“There was a spark.”, Arnie said.

 “You’re just saying that.” Budd was getting annoyed. 

 “No, seriously, I definitely saw a spark.”

“You’re hallucinating. You’ve been hunched over that pile of twigs and hair for hours. … What makes you think you can just pick up any two random stones in the middle of the Pre-Cambrian Shield and find the right type to start a fire anyway?” 

 “I saw ‘Survivorman’ do it.” Arnie smiled remembering entire days spent watching television and drinking beer.

 “He brings his own flint, or uses a car battery or something. Anyway, we probably shouldn’t start a fire in the middle of the forest; I think there’s been a drought.”

 “You’re just saying that.”

 “Okay so when did it rain last?”

“Ummm.”

 “Exactly.”

 Arnie threw the stones down and the two started shuffling towards a light they thought they had seen in the distance the night before.

 

“Why do you always have to be so negative?”

  “Arnie! We are in the middle of nowhere. We haven’t eaten in two days. We’ve been walking for seven. We have no idea if we are heading in totally the wrong direction. I am being eaten by deer flies and mosquitoes… I think I can justify feeling a little down.”

 There was a loud crack of thunderand then a sudden downpour. In seconds they were drenched as the heavy rain broke through the forest canapé.

 “See?: No drought.” Arnie smiled.

“Dumbass.”

“I just thought it would be nice… A fire is comforting.”

 Budd stopped and watched Arnie walk a bit ahead of him, Arnie’s white ass gleaming through the torn cloth that was once a pair of pants. They were unlikely friends, but friends. Budd felt sorry for his remark.

“Hey, Arnie, I’m setting up the tarp. Come and help me.” Budd  pulled a large blue sheet and some rope from a satchel. “There’s no point in trying to walk any further now. In this rain you’re likely to fall and break something and I’m not going to carry you.” Budd said.

 “Well, it’s not like we need to keep dry.” Arnie was sounding uncharacteristically disheartened.

 “Speak for yourself.” Budd fussed with strips of torn plaid hanging from what was left of his shirt collar. “This was my best shirt if you will remember.” He struck a comic pose.

Arnie smiled. He took hold of one of the nylon ropes and found a tree branch to tie it to.

 “Besides,” Budd said, “I want to work on my crossword for a while and I got to keep the rain off the book… It was a lucky find: this satchel, the tarp and the crossword book, thanks Arnie.”

 Arnie brightened.  “Yeah that was lucky, huh! Okay ask me one!” They sat down on the bare rock side by side huddled under the tarp.

 “Okay, ‘A fourteen letter word for the appearance of truth’.”

 “No idea.”

 “Okay, seven down. ‘An unforgettable Canadian…’”

“Pamela Anderson.”

 “You say Pamela Anderson for every Canadian celebrity question.”

 “Do not!”

 “Do! It’s her boobs you remember.” Budd started to snicker. “Fake boobs, remember? That last woman we ate? She had fake boobs. You bit into one and got a face full of saline.”

 “Oh yeah! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

 “This is her crossword book.”

 “That's right!” Arnie smiled dreamily remembering how good it felt to chow down on her buttery brain.

 “Hey, I’m sorry … you know … about making fun of your ‘Survivorman’ skills.”

 “Naw, it’s okay. I get it. It’s not like you wanted to be exiled from your life, wandering around in the woods hoping to stumble across some lonely camper… “

 “It could be worse. At least I’m wandering around in the woods with my best friend…”

 Arnie smiled. “Hey I just thought of twenty three down:  ‘apocryphal’”.

“Wow, I think that’s it. Yup it fits! How did you think of that Arnie?”

 “I don’t know, I guess I still have a bit of un-rotted grey matter after all!”

 “Speaking of which…”

 “I know. I’m hungry too.”

 The rain had subsided and dappled light lit the patches of bare granite giving the look of glittering diamonds strewn through the forest. The two took down the tarp and resumed their slow lumbering progression.

 “Well at least the rain stopped. That’s a good omen, right?”

 “You really are an optimist aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess I am. I read somewhere that some people just are happier, no matter what. They can win the lottery but it doesn't make them any happier than they tended to be already .”

 “Well, no worries about that happening to us.”

 “It be nice though eh? We could buy a mansion, order in brains every day,  watch sports and Jeopardy on a big screen t.v. ...”

 Budd felt suddenly very hungry. “Okay now you’re starting to bum me out. I think you’re a bit passive aggressive with your cheerfulness…”

 Arnie’s face began to change expression as a bit of undigested bone  made its way to his lower intestine. “Arrrgh.  Verisimilitude! The appearance of truth: Verisimilitude, two across! Get out the book and fill it in!”

 “Naw it’s in the bottom of the satchel now.”

“I won’t remember if you don’t write it down now!”

“Would you calm down! I’m not digging through the bag. We need to keep walking.”

“This is why you get depressed. You put things off. You have to learn to live in the now.”

“We’re dead.”

“You see, that’s exactly the sort of thing I’m talking about…”

“Shut up. I mean it Arnie, just stop talking and keep moving towards our next meal. Okay? CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME ARNIE?  IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?" 

"Sure Budd...It is really quite beautiful out here... We never took the time to appreciate natures grandeur when we were alive..."

"I swear Arnie I will rip out your tongue and eat it!"

"       "