NHL i AM your bitch
Jun. 6th, 2013 08:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
riotheclown"Seen the lymphoma consultant today and im in remission first time told that in 8years says I cant be cured but can be maintained. My blood count is still low and bone marrow still efected. Getting a cat scan for my headaches*. He also said there is some new treatment just become available."
This if from the NHL facebook page, not my post. It is so frustrating trying to explain to people what it is like even this many years after chemo. This year my check up is not before my birthday. I feel like I'm being selfish not wanting to celebrate until after. But being 56 is not a big deal. Counting the years without symptoms* is. I have to stop reading the page though. IN this depression gets to be too much. The side effects, like heart damage, brain damage, osteo, liver, spleen and kidney impairment, auto immune difficulties: it is heartbreaking at times to read...
Caregiving a crazy 91 year old is hard too but I can only complain so long before recognizing that it is not really much of an outlet when there is no more help to be found...so I will go look at art for the day with my friend Dee who bought me a membership to the AGO last Xmas (she says to thank me for taking her to the art gallery during her difficult year with her marriage ending). She has become a good friend and it means a lot to have a friend that I don't have to twist myself into a different person to pass as someone someone might like.
On that subject, I am so happy to have found a new sanga. For all the wonkiness of the group, the casual nature of coming and going and my telling discomfort with it, I am really happy to join a group, sitting silently, many with aching knees and feeling the support of their efforts. In many ways, it answers needs that I can barely express, so instead I will just acknowledge that I am foretunate in finding them.
G.D. has her physio appmt. and a ride with Transcare whose drivers take good care of her on these trips...
This if from the NHL facebook page, not my post. It is so frustrating trying to explain to people what it is like even this many years after chemo. This year my check up is not before my birthday. I feel like I'm being selfish not wanting to celebrate until after. But being 56 is not a big deal. Counting the years without symptoms* is. I have to stop reading the page though. IN this depression gets to be too much. The side effects, like heart damage, brain damage, osteo, liver, spleen and kidney impairment, auto immune difficulties: it is heartbreaking at times to read...
Caregiving a crazy 91 year old is hard too but I can only complain so long before recognizing that it is not really much of an outlet when there is no more help to be found...so I will go look at art for the day with my friend Dee who bought me a membership to the AGO last Xmas (she says to thank me for taking her to the art gallery during her difficult year with her marriage ending). She has become a good friend and it means a lot to have a friend that I don't have to twist myself into a different person to pass as someone someone might like.
On that subject, I am so happy to have found a new sanga. For all the wonkiness of the group, the casual nature of coming and going and my telling discomfort with it, I am really happy to join a group, sitting silently, many with aching knees and feeling the support of their efforts. In many ways, it answers needs that I can barely express, so instead I will just acknowledge that I am foretunate in finding them.
G.D. has her physio appmt. and a ride with Transcare whose drivers take good care of her on these trips...
