riotheclown: clowning (pissoff)
Title:
Author: Urb-banal
Warnings: PG for language and sexual references
Word Count: 700
Prompt: Razzle Dazzle

Sassy Lady

Her dad was a drunk. Previous to her mother's death he had belonged to the Holy Transcendental Religion, which he explained to Lady was actually "The Totally Useless Religion"; "Holy" being spelt "Wholly" and "Transcendental" referring to the mathematical, as in "irrational numbers" one of whom he was and therefore useless like the religion. (He had been a math teacher when there were still public schools but, in keeping with his religion, not a very good one.) His new religion, Perpetual Drunkenness, was a splinter faith, but to maintain his faith he had to ignore or accept what Lady did to keep him supplied with safe booze.

Lady was clear about this. She was not going to allow him to lecture her beyond the basic "safety first" rule.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and slurred, "Don't have intercourse unless he uses a condom!"

"I know dad." She bent down and kissed him on his greasy head then checked her lipstick once more in the mirror. “I'm just going to razzle dazzle him! I'll be fine!"

The old man started humming something old, something from the days before everything fell apart. He fell back on the cot and looked at ceiling. He could almost remember...

" Give 'em the old razzle dazzle,
Razzle dazzle them.
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it,
And the reaction will be passionate.

Razzle dazzle them...
(Razzle dazzle them)


She pulled her boots all the way up to her thighs, and wiggled a bit to make sure her skirt was covering her bottom just enough. Her sequined halter exposed a large area of midriff; she threw on a puffy hot-pink "fake-fur" jacket. She was getting into character: Sassy Lady, circa 1972. She loved that era. Nobody could get real antique clothing from that period but she got the woman who used her sewing machine to alter some clothes that came close. It cost her a month's pay but she looked FABULOUS.

“Aren't you all tarted-up!” Her father said from his cot in the kitchen. He rolled over and grabbed the bottle from under it, propped up on one elbow and took a swig. “You make sure you get me some more whiskey."

The best men, the men who knew where to get their hands on chocolate and condoms, drugs and alcohol, were all company men.

Lady leaned into the mirror and squinted. Her eyes were bright, no redness, no puffiness. She pursed her lips in a fake kiss and then winked.


She'd already met a few executives at the disco and now that she was working at the factory she could cachet that connection into a longer term hook up. Soon she'd be a "Girlfriend", the first step in her ladder to success.

"Girlfriends" of executives got to stay at the housing for weeks at a time but only after security checks. She had all that done when they hired her so there would be no more quickies in the alley. A nice executive could take her straight to his home inside Guildwood. Being an Official Girlfriend or "O.G." meant enjoying all the amenities that even the lower executives enjoyed: hot and cold running water, flush toilets, refrigerated sugar drinks in a rainbow of colors, protein dispensers and meds to slow you down or speed you up, all paid for by the company.

The term "Girlfriend" referred to a prostitute who could be a man or a woman or a even a hermaphrodite. If they could pass the security check they could have a limited access pass. However, for the sake of appeasing every possible "moral" concern no official recognition of the sanctioned use of prostitutes was allowed, hence the term "girlfriend".
Legal spouses usually lived off island because they could afford to.

Lady dreamed of a shimmering paradise where she would go to raise the perfect children she would have with her future husband.

One of the problems she had working on the floor of the factory was she was suited up in protective clothing and masked the whole time. She appreciated the protection but how was "love at first sight" ever going to happen when no one could see her? So she had to go to the disco to meet him but in truth she was glad to go dancing.

She joined her father in singing "Razzle dazzle them, and they'll make you a star!" doing a few high kicks that miraculously didn't send any dishes flying or lamps crashing and continued out the door, happy to be out of the cloying stench of her home, and her father's desperate oblivion.
riotheclown: clowning (pissoff)
Author: Urb-banal
Week One, September
Prompt: Ya Got Trouble
Word Count: 700
Warnings: PG, language maybe
Title: Lady Dreams

Lady Dreams

" I got a job and a suit and a mask standing by a machine that fills little bottles with gross smelling liquids. But I have no intention of staying there for too long dad. I’m no dullard. I am not just pretty, I’m pretty smart."

Harry, an old man in dirty briefs, leaned over the cot he was half sitting, half lying on and grabbed a bottle from under it. "Well don't ya get all high and mighty about it. Remember, your mother and me named ya 'Lady' as a joke!"

"Well maybe you thought it was a joke but I'm going to make it a reality! I'm going to get one of those executives to notice me, fall in love with me and then marry me and then I'll live in one of those nice high rises with all the works!"

"And how is anyone going to tell ya from all the other automatons they got working suited up wearing masks?" He pulled his greying undershirt over his belly and squinted at the bottle, turning it sideways to spy the little amount of amber liquid that remained.

She frowned at him and decided to ignore what he said in favour of imagining the life she was going to have. "I'm going to have hot showers, hot food, clean clothes and cash!"

A quick sponge bath in front of the stove was it for Lady's dad. A constant state of inebriation dulled the senses enough that nothing seemed worth a lot of trouble. He was never guilty of "false modesty" even when sober. Though he was often accused of a lack of pride.
"Well, don't forget yr responsibilities at home yr Majesty. I've got a business to run and ya have to keep up the bills. "

The two hours of electricity a day they were rationed Lady used to rent out a sewing machine to people who wanted to do mending. Her dad's 'business' was talking to the old ladies who used the machine to refurbish and mend the clothes and then sell them at the market. He claimed they needed watching, but Lady suspected he liked their company.

"This is where yr from and this is where ya belong and when the company is done with ya, POISONED Ya by exposing ya to all sorts of chemicals, this is where I'll have to bury ya." He pointed the neck of the bottle towards her for emphasis.


She was unimpressed. Lady looked past the dim light of the room out the window in the kitchen which was also Harry's bedroom. The back yard had an outhouse. The yard wasn't much larger than the outhouse, just enough for two folding chairs if you didn't mind touching knees. There was a grill with a battered up old coffee percolator sitting on it.

She closed her eyes and sighed. She would get to drink real coffee in the canteen, no more of the chicory swill they could barely afford.

Outhouses were against the by-laws. Those without working plumbing (everyone) were supposed to use the communal toilets that were installed at the end of the street, but they were often occupied by rats and just as often not working anyway. It was long time since the city could afford workers to go around snooping and besides, everyone was doing the same thing.

Nobody in the burbs had running water and everyone had to line up to fill jugs at the Sally, the last remaining community center. Some drank water they collected in barrels but if it wasn't boiled you were taking a big risk of getting diarrhea that could kill you.

"I'll be burying you more like dad, all the trouble you give me!"

"Well, we'll see won't we? I'm telling ya, jobs may come and go but when ya have no family that's when ya got trouble! Ya might be fifteen years old with a fancy job and think ya know everything, but ya got nothing without yr da, nothing but trouble!"

He stood up and started singing some song from an old timey musical he had memorized back in the day, grabbing her hands and dancing around in the tiny space until she was laughing so hard she had to hold her stomach.

"Friends, ya got trouble!"

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